Funny Stuff: Dating & Technology – A Love Story

Funny Stuff, Writing
Originally published on July 23, 2010 on My Mind’s Focused.

Technology. It’s everywhere.  From electric cars to those vibrating razors that I refuse to use.  For the most part, technology has made living easier.  It even plays a role in dating, but unfortunately for me, nothing about dating has become any easier.

I have what older folks call an “old soul.”  I’m still in my twenties, but I believe in chivalry and actually enjoy courting a woman.  I’m fine with paying the bill and don’t expect physical favors after three dates, though they are much appreciated and accepted if offered.  Life is all about give and take.

Even with my “old soul,” I do embrace technology.  Though I know calling a woman is the correct way to ask her out on a date, I did reluctantly ask one woman, “Candace,” out on a date via text message.  This is where technology failed me.

I knew better but in fairness to myself, “Candace” was one of those people who return your call by texting you.  Definitely a red flag, but I’m a simple man who gets distracted by pretty faces and perfume, so I let my thumbs do the talking this time.  After a series of texts, dinner was set for 7pm at her place.  “That was easy,” so I thought.

Around 3 pm “Candace” texted me saying, “Bring some friends and we can play cards.” Huh?  Why would I want to do that?  Totally confused, I asked “Why?” Fifteen minutes later she replied, “Quit playing games.  You bring the wine and I’ll bring the food.” Huh?  What’s really good here?

Eventually, I threw technology out the window and called “Candace” to see where our signals got crossed.  When she answered, I asked if we were still on for dinner.  She said, “Oh…umm…I’m on my way to a friend’s house.  I can’t hang out tonight.” Totally confused again, I said, “Didn’t you get my texts earlier?” She replied, “No, I must have missed them.” At this point, I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew my date wasn’t happening.

8:30 pm.  I’m sitting on my couch, still trying to digest what had happened earlier.  Suddenly, my phone buzzes, new message from “Candace.”  It read, “Hey there!  I’m sooo sorry!  I just realized that when I was texting you all day, I thought I was texting someone else.  You probably think I’m crazy!!”

Hell yeah, I think you’re crazy!  How do you get text the wrong person all day long?  I almost fired back a nasty text, but instead replied, “No worries.” and then deleted her phone number.

Am I partly to blame for this comedy of errors?  Yes, I should have called in the first place.  However, I’m passing the buck this time.  “Candace” was obviously text messaging challenged.  Nothing to be ashamed of, but to “Candace” and everyone else out there, the next time you’re a little unsure about anything in life, rely on this age old proverb for guidance, “If you don’t know, you better ask somebody!”


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