Update: The Scooter Store ceased operations in 2013.
I know you’ve seen the commercials for The Scooter Store on TV, right? However, have you ever visited the site? No? Well don’t worry, YAKWII did that, so hopefully you won’t have to go thru that!
After a few weeks of car problems and sore feet, I figured that I needed to find a new way to get around town. Just to humor myself, I checked out The Scooter Store website.
Wow…they got a whole lot goin on over there! Way more than you would think.
OK, when you first start cruising around the site, you see what you expect to see – power wheelchairs like the Pride Mobility Go Chair below.
If my grandparents were still alive, there’s no way in HELL I’m letting them get on one of these. They’d probably run me over. This is just the beginning, it gets better…
The EV Rider Royale 4 Wheel Scooter. They take it up a notch and give you a 4-wheel option. And if you rollin with your boo, you can cop the two seater. Flossin.
C’mon now. Who is The Scooter Store foolin? These ain’t for old folks! Just look at the mean grill on these things. You can put in major work on one of these. And this is just the basic model…
You can splurge and get a lockbox to hold the guns and the drugs! Again, look at this thing! This scooter ain’t made for casual rides down the street to visit your dear friend, Gertrude. Nah, this deeper. But you think this is crazy, check the next “scooter” they got on there.
The EV Rider Vita 4 Wheel. This is a f*ckin Lambo, not no damn scooter! C’mon, what old person is going to rock this? This is made to run from the cops. On top of the slick paint job, it’s got shocks and fenders. Perfect for a high-speed chase. Guarantee this thing goes at least 50 mph!
And to top it all off….
So after seeing all of this at The Scooter Store, my mind started racing. What is really going on here? Why would old people need this type of heavy-duty and high-speed equipment?
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer. However, there has been a whole lot of militia activity poppin off across the good ol’ US of A recently. Are the old folks about to mobilize and start rollin up on young people?
I don’t know. However, I’ll tell you one thing, I’m bout to strap up and keep a watch out. I ain’t goin out like that. I ain’t bout to get got by granny! No sir! YAKWII stay with the Army guns! C’mon Bertha, try me. Just try me!