What’s good everyone. That last post was pretty messed up so, we’re gonna switch gears and get onto some other more lively sh*t. Amazingly…Miss New Booty found her way back to the YAKWII offices and has decided to bless us with her presence. Come to find out she was on vacation…
Miss New Booty: Heeeyy Ya’llll!!!! Sorry that I haven’t been here but you know…I needed a vacation. All this interviewing stuff got a girl all stressed out and sh*t…
YAKWII : Ummm…Miss New Booty…you only did ONE interview so far and you never even finished it!
MNB: Hey, nobody said nothin to me bout finishin sh*t so, I really don’t know who you is tryin to get all up in my face!
YAKWII : But I’m sayin…
MNB: Just what is you sayin…???
MNB: Yeah, that’s what I thought!
YAKWII: Aiight…whatever…just sit your little thick behind down over there on that couch while I talk to the people real quick.
MNB: OK daddy….
YAKWII: (See what I have to deal with??) Aiight folks, I guess it’s pretty much a wrap for the end of the interview with Mr. Books. Luckily, one of my peoples came thru the office so, I’m gonna let MNB interview him and I’m gonna go grab a sandwich.
MNB: OK…so what’s ur name?
Guest: Dude…oh, my name? It’s Chadwick Barnstable Murphy III, but my friends call me “The Chad!”
MNB: The Chad?????
The Chad: Yeah, f*ckin awesome right? But dude… for this interview I want to be known as “The Ocho!”
MNB: What the f*ck??
The Chad The Ocho: No dude…The Ocho!!!
MNB: Huh?? “The Eight?” You’re going to have to explain this one to me homie…
The Ocho: Dude, you know, like Ocho Cinco – Chad f*ckin Johnson!
MNB: Ok, first of all, you’re gonna stop callin me dude! So you play sports and you want to be known as your jersey number?
The Ocho: Sorry dude…no, I don’t play sports. The Ocho just sounds f*ckin awesome! You know…he’s Chad…I’m Chad. The Ocho just makes sense, right?!?! F*ck yeah!!
MNB: Ok…aiight? (YAKWII betta have my weed when I finish this one!) Ok…”The Ocho”… tell me a little bout yourself.
The Ocho: Sure dude… Well, you know I had it pretty rough growing up in New York. BROOKLYN!!!
MNB: Oh? You’re from Brooklyn? What part?
The Ocho: Well…ahh…not really Brooklyn. More like Westchester County. But it’s all New York right? Some parts near the golf course are pretty f*ckin ghetto!
MNB: ummm…yeah. right. So, where did you go to school?
The Ocho: F*ckin Taft. Place sucked balls! Then I went to Dartmouth. Which was f*ckin awesome!!! B*TCH!!!
MNB: MOTHERF*CKER, WHO YOU CALLIN A B*TCH????
The Ocho: Nah dude…relax…I’m not callin you a b*tch! I just say that. You know, it’s like saying “Yeah” or “Awesome.” I just like saying B*TCH!!!
MNB: Ok…??? You just watch what you sayin! Remember who you talkin to…
The Ocho: No problem dude…
MNB: And STOP callin me dude! damn! So, how was Dartmouth?
The Ocho: F*ckin ruled!! Studied a little bit, but mostly got f*ckin sh*tfaced and played beer pong with my buddies. F*CKIN A man…
MNB: ummm…yeah. ok. sounds like a blast. (not really) Did you have a girlfriend?
The Ocho: F*ck yeah! My B*tch Courtney!
MNB: EXCUSE YOU? Why are you callin her a b*tch?
The Ocho: Relax dude. She’s cool. I call her that all the time.
MNB: And she’s OK with that???
The Ocho: F*ck yeah! I buy her all the Kate Spade and J. Crew she f*ckin wants.
AND…I support her little nose candy habit! I call it “Snow for Blow.”
MNB: Snow for Blow??
The Ocho: You know…..
MNB: OK!!! That was waaaayy too much information!!! Are you still together?
The Ocho: Yeah, we’re married.
MNB: So you talk about your WIFE that way???
The Ocho: Yeah, she’s cool. Hey…..have you ever tried the shocker?
MNB: Huh? The what?? The shocker??
The Ocho: You know…like this….
MNB: What the hell does that do???
The Ocho: You know…two in the pink and one in stink! F*ck yeah!!!!!
MNB: MOTHERF*CKER…that is the last time! One more inappropriate comment, hand gesture or whatever from you and this interview is OVER! U hear me!
The Ocho: Dude….f*ckin relax!
MNB: Don’t tell me to F*CKIN RELAX! And STOP callin me DUDE!!
The Ocho: F*ckin A… alright… we cool?
MNB: Whateva… how do you and YAKWII even know each other anyways??
The Ocho: He kicked my a$$!
MNB: What?? You two fought?? And now you’re friends??
The Ocho: Well, yeah. I deserved it. I was drunk and talking sh*t so he knocked me the f*ck out! Afterwards, I figured that there’s a good chance I’d get wasted again and get into another fight so, rather than run into him again, I decided to become his friend.
MNB: And you’re cool with being friends with a guy who beat you up?
The Ocho: He hasn’t beat my a$$ since!
MNB: Wow…ok. different. Aiight…let’s start wrapping this up! What do you do now?
The Ocho: Well, I was an investment banker but got laid off when the banks started crashing. f*ckin sucked.
MNB: Sounds tough…
The Ocho: Not really….I have a huge trust fund so I just hang out on my boat…
drink a F*CKIN LOT…..
and f*ck my B*TCH!!!!
MNB: OK….THAT’S IT!!!! I’M OUTTA HERE!!!! YAKWII….I’M THRU WITH THIS A$$HOLE!!!!
YAKWII: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA….what’s going on?? What happened??? Where’s she going??
The Ocho: F*ckin A man… She got all pissed off for no reason dude!
YAKWII: What did you say to her?
The Ocho: Nothin man. I swear!
YAKWII: You sure?
The Ocho: Yeah man! Well, I gotta run dude. Courtney dropped a few hints that she wants me to come home early so we can spend some “quality time” together.
YAKWII: Quality time, huh? How women think about it? Or how men think about it?
The Ocho: Nah dude, how MEN think about it! She was pretty clear about what she wants to do this afternoon….
YAKWII: OOOH…gotcha!!! Good seeing you man!
The Ocho: Peace dude!